I first worked with a coach in 2015. My coach, Scott, supported me in building my freelance business. I had been a successful producer for close to 15 years by then. Yet, every time I relocated, I had to establish myself in a new city - no small task. One of the first steps was to list my goals. Mine were to build confidence and trust in what I bring to the table professionally, develop plans to strengthen and expand my skill set, and learn to focus on the things that matter most professionally.

Scott is a fantastic coach and helped me identify my true strengths as a producer and own them. In other words, I became confident in my abilities and learned to trust my instincts. He was instrumental in helping me learn how to promote myself effectively. I also stopped avoiding the more challenging parts of being a freelance professional. Scott didn’t just focus on the professional side of things. He also helped me find balance in my life. I tended to be all work and very little play. He helped me understand that this imbalance did not serve me and that finding a balance socially, physically, and spiritually was just as important.

There are all types of coaches in the world - some focus on your physical or emotional well-being, some focus on your professional well-being, and others may be generalists. No matter their focus, they will provide guidance and support through the practice of intentional listening, reflection, goal setting, and accountability.

Here are a few ways a coach can support you.

Clarifying Goals and Vision: A life coach helps you define what you truly want. For example, you may want a new career, to navigate your job more effectively, to live a healthier life, to find your purpose, or to improve your relationships. No matter your intention, your coach will support you by asking insightful questions, listening without judgment, and providing structured tools.

Overcoming Obstacles and Limiting Beliefs: We all have beliefs…

Have you experienced the loss of a loved one recently? Are you having a hard time processing your emotions?

I lost my father recently. He was 99 years old and lived a full vibrant life. I feel so fortunate to have had him in my life for so long. He survived my mom by six years who died in 2018. The fact that both my parents are gone is daunting because they brought the family together. They loved spending time with their six kids. They were our center.

My mom was the life force of the family. She was also the family worrier and made sure she and my dad checked in with each of us on a regular basis. My father took over as the family worrier when she passed and called all six of us every day. He so wanted to be there for us and would end each call with “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Let’s talk about those emotions that you are busy processing.

Are you allowing yourself to feel? The emotions of grief and loss are going to be there whether you want them or not and you may not always appreciate when they show up. It could be in the middle of a conversation or the middle of a work day. Grief is not on a schedule. Regardless, let the feelings come. It’s all part of the process.

Are you sharing your feelings with your family and friends? My siblings and I are all grieving in our own ways. I find it hits me when I least expect it, this profound sadness. My eyes well up and I wonder what we are going to do without him. I will let one of my siblings know if I am having a hard time. It’s usually as simple as telling them that I miss him. My sister and I text each other when the sadness creeps up on us. The important thing is to share these emotions. Your family will be grateful that they aren’t the only ones feeling this way and your friends want to be there for you…

I have come to believe that the use of “it’s complicated” can ultimately hinder personal growth. It’s a default phrase. “It’s complicated” hinders further exploration of the issue, it sets the stage to avoid accountability, and it effectively shuts down communication causing misunderstandings or misinterpretations. And my least favorite, “it’s complicated” can reinforce negative beliefs about yourself. Essentially, “it’s complicated” risks stagnation. You are resigned to what is.

Let’s switch our approach:

Focus on possibility. What solutions are there to consider? How can I improve my situation and my outlook?

Un-complicate it. Break it down into its parts and tackle them one by one. Achieving smaller steps creates a sense of accomplishment and progress.

Challenge your negative beliefs. Your negative or limiting beliefs can prevent you from moving forward. They act as a roadblock and can stop you in your tracks. Ask yourself what is really true vs what you have decided is true. Are these beliefs serving you?

Get help. We are not meant to struggle alone. We all need encouragement and guidance. Grab a friend, family member, coach, or therapist and share what is going on…

Unplanned changes come in many forms - a layoff, the loss of a loved one, a breakup, a health crisis, or a financial setback are all examples.

It blindsides you. It sucks. It hurts. It makes you angry. You soul search. You rant. You wallow. You hide. All valid reactions. All probably necessary.

We’ve all experienced one or more unplanned changes. We’ve all watched others go through them. So how do we support someone who is going through it? Well, for one thing, it’s not a one-size-fits-all experience. It’s a process and we all approach it differently.

To bring this to a personal level, I lost my father recently and I am fresh in the grieving process. I will write about it at some point. It’s too soon though. What I will say is that we; myself, my siblings, and our extended family, are all grieving in our own way. I’m sure there are similarities and it’s also unique to each of us.

Here are some tips on how to support someone who has experienced an unplanned event:

Be there. Be present for them. Just your presence can offer a tremendous amount of comfort. And adjusting to their new normal can take quite a while. Make sure you’re still there after the dust settles.

Validate their feelings. Whether it is anger…

The Essence of Community

Shared Understanding: they provide a safe space where you can discuss your experiences, your successes, and your fears. You also feel a sense of belonging and validation.

Collective Wisdom: there’s nothing better than sharing your experience and insights and hearing from others on how they are maneuvering change and transition. I always learn something from my communities and appreciate and value the various perspectives.

Emotional Support: we need empathy, compassion, and encouragement during times of change. Your communities can offer that in spades. The mere fact that you are not alone in whatever you are going through can significantly bolster your resilience.

The Power of Connection

Accountability and Motivation: your communities can hold you accountable for your intentions and commitments which will encourage you to stay motivated…

Stability is defined as the quality, state, or degree of being stable. I imagine a lot of us feel the need for stability at the present moment. Even if, as a rule, you do not crave stability, you may want it now. I certainly do, mostly because the greater world feels exceptionally unstable. I go between an obsessive need to know what’s going on in the world, trying to figure out if there is anything I can do to help, and reading everything I can find about the topic, to a forced media blackout when my emotional wellbeing is at risk.

If you crave stability, for whatever reason, here are a few tips.