How Strong is your Need for stability?
Stability is defined as the quality, state, or degree of being stable. I imagine a lot of us feel the need for stability at the present moment. Even if, as a rule, you do not crave stability, you may want it now. I certainly do, mostly because the greater world feels exceptionally unstable. I go between an obsessive need to know what’s going on in the world, trying to figure out if there is anything I can do to help, and reading everything I can find about the topic, to a forced media blackout when my emotional wellbeing is at risk.
I am not suggesting putting your head in the sand and coming up for air when things calm down and I understand that not everyone has the luxury of turning the world off. I am suggesting that preserving ones emotional and physical wellbeing is what gets us through the day, helps us take care of those who depend on us and hopefully gives us the necessary perspective to express our thoughts in a way that others will actually hear.
If you crave stability, for whatever reason, here are a few tips:
Practice self care - do whatever you can to take care of your emotional and physical wellbeing - deep breathing, going for a walk, a daily exercise routine even if it is for five minutes, talking to a therapist, journaling, meditating, crying…you get the gist.
Establish a simple routine - sometimes just doing the same thing day in and day out can give you a sense of security. It’s known, tried and true. I do some variation on this routine, especially when I am feeling vulnerable: I get up, make breakfast for my dad, walk my dog, drink a cup of coffee while reading the news, check my email, eat breakfast, do some work, take a break, do some more work, walk my dog again, have dinner, read a book, go to bed, get up and do it all again. Oh and I engage in a lot of deep breathing. This may sound like watching paint dry to some but keeping it simple and consistent does the trick for me.
Set personal boundaries - setting limits to preserve your time, energy, and wellbeing can go a long way in helping you feel like you have control over your life. If you are facing too many demands, it can wear you down, affect your health and have an impact on how you react to the world around you. I tend to absorb the moods of those closest to me so if I am feeling particularly vulnerable, it’s best if I limit my exposure. This protects both of us. I want to honor and be supportive of what someone is experiencing and make sure I don’t heap more stress onto them by reacting negatively (aka - being a jerk because I didn’t read the warning signs!).
Invest time in educating yourself - I am thinking about this in a couple of ways. One, it is a good way to focus your attention and two, informing yourself about what interests you whether it’s world politics, the environment, bird watching, travel or knitting, allows you to expand your mind and allows for an informed conversation when sharing what you learn. There are so many volatile topics out there. I may express my fears but I tend to clam up if I am not well informed which doesn’t always serve me but might be a good thing these days.
Seek support - I’ve said this MANY times. YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK IS CRITICAL - depend on your friends, family, therapist, and/or coach.
These are my tried and trues. I’m doing my best to practice what I preach. Focusing my world, keeping it simple and connecting with my support system ground me when I need it most.