Hey there—welcome to the intentional roamer, a travel journal, of sorts!

I’m at a point in my life where…I actually don’t know what’s next. At all. I just sold my house, put my stuff in storage, packed my car, and now I’m basically free as a bird—just me and a dog named Bebe.

I’m not gonna lie. It’s a little disconcerting. But it’s also crazy exciting. Normally, a moment like this would send me into a full-on overthinking spiral. Where will I live? What will I do? What’s my five-year plan? 

And then I realized: I don’t have to decide anything right now.

The relief was huge. Like, deep exhale, shoulders-down, kind of relief. I experienced a complete sense of freedom…

When will life get easier? Do you know how many times I’ve thought that very thought? Do you know how many times I’ve said it out loud?

I wasn’t always comfortable in my own skin. I was always searching for a feeling of contentment, like I’d know it when I experienced it.

I created stories about who I was, and I believed them wholeheartedly. I’m not smart enough. I don’t matter. I’d be so much happier if I lost some weight.

And then there were the expectations of what I thought my life should be like. I should be making more money. I should own a home. I should be in a relationship…

I’ve read a few definitions of “brave.” Most of them boil down to this: having the mental or moral strength to face your fears or what you consider difficult—and doing it anyway.

But bravery isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. What feels brave to one person may feel routine to another. What scares you might thrill someone else. I might find body surfing in huge ocean waves terrifying, while someone else sees it as an adventure. Even the word “dangerous”—often tucked into definitions of bravery—is subjective. And so is fear.

That’s the thing about bravery: it’s deeply personal.

Bravery isn’t just about bold moves or dramatic leaps. Often, it’s quiet. Subtle. Messy. Emotional. It’s sitting with your discomfort long enough to hear the truth inside you. It’s letting your heart beat fast and your stomach churn, and still choosing to move forward.

Being brave can surface all kinds of feelings in your body—a rush of anxiety, tightness in your chest, the anticipation of what if. It’s being vulnerable. It’s letting yourself be seen and heard. It’s speaking your truth. It's deciding to make a change before you're 100% sure it will work out…

This one is a doozy! Maybe “doozy” isn’t quite accurate. It falls into the “your actions just proved your point” category. I recorded a video about self-forgiveness back in October and never felt like it was the right time to share it. I decided to revisit the video and was equal parts critical and ok with it.

Let’s start with what’s ok with it. It’s a relevant message. We are all self-critical and it’s time to evaluate whether our negative thoughts and stories are serving us. It’s authentic and vulnerable. I promised myself I would show who I am in my posts. It shares some hard truths that you will relate to in some way.

And then…I went to the critical. I don’t look my best. I’m repetitive. The lighting and positioning could be better. I wish I had filmed it horizontally. Maybe I should re-record it? Do I want this out in the world if it is not up to par? You wrote about this topic in a previous post. Essentially, I was proving the point of the video. We are our own worst critics, and the negative self-talk is real.

I pushed myself to evaluate it again from my heart instead of my head…

Have you ever wondered why your friend, partner, colleague, or family member doesn’t understand your needs? It might sound something like the following. They should know without me telling them. If they knew me at all, they would know what I am feeling or thinking. They should know to give me a raise. They should know to back me up in that meeting. They should know that would upset me. They should know I wanted that thing. They should know I don’t like that thing.

Guess what? Most of us are not mind readers. No matter how much you think someone “should know” what you are thinking, it’s quite possible they do not. Communicate your needs! It won’t guarantee you get what you want, but you will feel much better if you communicate expectations.

I get why you feel so strongly about someone close to you knowing what you need. There is a bond there. You spend hours every day with them. Why don’t they know? You mull over your unmet needs and become more frustrated by the minute. You stockpile your emotions and create a story that takes up valuable brain space. Stress and anxiety kick in, and then resentment steps in.

The fact is that we all live in our heads (aka, minds) and our heads are busy processing the world around us. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform, to earn, to succeed, to learn, and to know. It’s exhausting. I’m surprised anyone has the bandwidth to function. We are in survival mode! Our brains can barely hold what we already know. Why add pressure with unvoiced expectations?

Whoa! I’ve done a tremendous amount of numbing in the past few weeks. What I mean by numbing is when one does something on repeat to avoid something bothering them, for self-preservation, or both.

Binge-watching TV shows is a perfect example (my favorite and go-to). Others are shopping for things you do not need, working non-stop, and eating A LOT of unhealthy food.

Numbing doesn’t have to be a bad thing unless it’s your standard coping mechanism.

In fact, it can be a great form of self-preservation. For example…