This one is a doozy! Maybe “doozy” isn’t quite accurate. It falls into the “your actions just proved your point” category. I recorded a video about self-forgiveness back in October and never felt like it was the right time to share it. I decided to revisit the video and was equal parts critical and ok with it.

Let’s start with what’s ok with it. It’s a relevant message. We are all self-critical and it’s time to evaluate whether our negative thoughts and stories are serving us. It’s authentic and vulnerable. I promised myself I would show who I am in my posts. It shares some hard truths that you will relate to in some way.

And then…I went to the critical. I don’t look my best. I’m repetitive. The lighting and positioning could be better. I wish I had filmed it horizontally. Maybe I should re-record it? Do I want this out in the world if it is not up to par? You wrote about this topic in a previous post. Essentially, I was proving the point of the video. We are our own worst critics, and the negative self-talk is real.

I pushed myself to evaluate it again from my heart instead of my head…

Have you ever wondered why your friend, partner, colleague, or family member doesn’t understand your needs? It might sound something like the following. They should know without me telling them. If they knew me at all, they would know what I am feeling or thinking. They should know to give me a raise. They should know to back me up in that meeting. They should know that would upset me. They should know I wanted that thing. They should know I don’t like that thing.

Guess what? Most of us are not mind readers. No matter how much you think someone “should know” what you are thinking, it’s quite possible they do not. Communicate your needs! It won’t guarantee you get what you want, but you will feel much better if you communicate expectations.

I get why you feel so strongly about someone close to you knowing what you need. There is a bond there. You spend hours every day with them. Why don’t they know? You mull over your unmet needs and become more frustrated by the minute. You stockpile your emotions and create a story that takes up valuable brain space. Stress and anxiety kick in, and then resentment steps in.

The fact is that we all live in our heads (aka, minds) and our heads are busy processing the world around us. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform, to earn, to succeed, to learn, and to know. It’s exhausting. I’m surprised anyone has the bandwidth to function. We are in survival mode! Our brains can barely hold what we already know. Why add pressure with unvoiced expectations?

Whoa! I’ve done a tremendous amount of numbing in the past few weeks. What I mean by numbing is when one does something on repeat to avoid something bothering them, for self-preservation, or both.

Binge-watching TV shows is a perfect example (my favorite and go-to). Others are shopping for things you do not need, working non-stop, and eating A LOT of unhealthy food.

Numbing doesn’t have to be a bad thing unless it’s your standard coping mechanism.

In fact, it can be a great form of self-preservation. For example…

Are you a curious person? Do you go down the rabbit hole when you are interested in a topic? Curiosity is a superpower, in my opinion. Seriously. I am a voracious reader, sometimes a book a week. It’s all fiction - usually historical fiction mysteries. When it comes to non-fiction, I often listen instead of reading text. I’m that annoying friend who finds an article or podcast and forwards it to people I think will be interested. And then I ask them if it resonated and see if they want to discuss it.

The more curious I become, the more life opens up for me.

I encourage you to get curious. Take a course. Read a book. Listen to a podcast or an audiobook. Ask questions of friends and strangers alike. Get to know people.

What are some benefits of being curious, you ask? Well, there are many.

Enhances Learning and Knowledge: Curiosity drives us to explore unfamiliar topics, which actually strengthens our capacity to learn. We also absorb information more effectively when we are genuinely interested in a given subject matter. Have you ever read a paragraph numerous times because you just can’t seem to absorb it? You might have too much on your mind or you are just not that interested in the topic.

Improves Problem-Solving Skills: Curiosity allows us to approach challenges with a fresh perspective. We tend to consider multiple angles, making it easier to find innovative solutions. Ever had an aha moment about an issue you are trying to solve? That’s you being open to options!

Strengthens Relationships: Asking questions and showing genuine interest in others’ lives and experiences can deepen our connections. Curiosity helps us understand and empathize with others, which builds trust. Have you ever found out something about someone that was surprising? How did you not know that about them?!

Fosters Personal Growth: Curiosity prompts self-reflection and exploration, allowing us to better understand our strengths, weaknesses, and passions. It encourages us to step out of our comfort zones and embrace change, which is pretty essential for personal development.

So, how does one cultivate curiosity?

Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of focusing on yes-or-no questions…

I first worked with a coach in 2015. My coach, Scott, supported me in building my freelance business. I had been a successful producer for close to 15 years by then. Yet, every time I relocated, I had to establish myself in a new city - no small task. One of the first steps was to list my goals. Mine were to build confidence and trust in what I bring to the table professionally, develop plans to strengthen and expand my skill set, and learn to focus on the things that matter most professionally.

Scott is a fantastic coach and helped me identify my true strengths as a producer and own them. In other words, I became confident in my abilities and learned to trust my instincts. He was instrumental in helping me learn how to promote myself effectively. I also stopped avoiding the more challenging parts of being a freelance professional. Scott didn’t just focus on the professional side of things. He also helped me find balance in my life. I tended to be all work and very little play. He helped me understand that this imbalance did not serve me and that finding a balance socially, physically, and spiritually was just as important.

There are all types of coaches in the world - some focus on your physical or emotional well-being, some focus on your professional well-being, and others may be generalists. No matter their focus, they will provide guidance and support through the practice of intentional listening, reflection, goal setting, and accountability.

Here are a few ways a coach can support you.

Clarifying Goals and Vision: A life coach helps you define what you truly want. For example, you may want a new career, to navigate your job more effectively, to live a healthier life, to find your purpose, or to improve your relationships. No matter your intention, your coach will support you by asking insightful questions, listening without judgment, and providing structured tools.

Overcoming Obstacles and Limiting Beliefs: We all have beliefs…

When the world feels unstable and filled with uncertainty, the choices we make are often rooted in love or fear. Choosing love means approaching life with compassion, understanding, and connection. It allows us to stay grounded, think clearly, and offer support to others. In contrast, fear tends to isolate us, heighten anxiety, and create barriers.

My second video message this month is about choosing love as your default response. A lot of people are choosing fear as their go-to reaction and fear begets more fear. It limits potential and breeds stress and the effect is cumulative.

Alternatively, by choosing love, we cultivate resilience, foster peace, and open ourselves to possibilities even in difficult times. It encourages collaboration and problem-solving while nurturing a sense of inner calm…