Are you the independent type? The one who rarely asks for help? The one who takes pride in being able to tackle any problem on their own? I was that person. I was fiercely independent. I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. I spent wasted energy on figuring things out on my own. I saw needing help as a weakness. Truthfully, I thought I would be judged as weak or incapable if I asked for assistance.

I'm not sure exactly when I shifted my mindset. There wasn't a single event that made me realize asking for help isn't a sign of weakness—it's simply acknowledging that I need support.

All I know is that it opened the door to all sorts of good stuff. I didn’t have to do everything alone. I didn’t have to spend an inordinate amount of time figuring things out. After all, two heads are better than one! It led me to seek new communities. It made me a better team player. It brought joy to my life. We aren’t meant to handle all of life’s challenges on our own.

Here are some tips for those of us who find it challenging to ask for help...

I am going to tackle a couple of topics: fear of judgment and the importance of feeling grounded during unsettling times.

I’ll start by sharing a personal story about my experience with judgment. I have wanted to add video content to my blog for a very long time and have been 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. The ironic part is that I was a producer for 20+ years, so I know how to do this. It didn't matter. Knowing I am an expert in this field just made me more nervous.

I finally got up the nerve to record my first video 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙣. I don't look very good. The audio and lighting could be better. The picture quality is not great. I don't like how I positioned myself in front of the camera. I don't like the background. Is the content compelling enough?

Here's the thing. 𝗪𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀. Am I right?

In the midst of analyzing a spreadsheet full of career options, pros, cons, and practical considerations with my client, I noticed something missing: the heart. We were fully immersed in the logic and next steps but the emotional and intuitive aspect of decision-making was left out.

It’s easy to forget how powerful the heart is when making choices, especially in something as monumental as a career change. I dare to say you should consider your heart in almost any decision you make from what ice cream flavor you want to bigger decisions that impact you as well as everyone around you.

Honestly, why wouldn’t you add your heart to the mix? After all, major life decisions like switching careers, relocating, retiring, or beginning a new relationship all deserve to be viewed through your heart. Heart-centered decisions resonate on a deeper level. You are not only considering external success. You are considering internal fulfillment.

Asking questions like “What would your heart say?” and “What would your heart do?” seem pretty relevant to major decisions. You are thinking about committing to something big. It is a 24/7 change. It will affect how you view yourself, how you live your life, and how you interact with others. It will affect your emotional and physical well-being. It should feel right—not just logically, but emotionally.

You are probably asking “How do I ask my heart if I am making the right decision?”, “What if my heart says no to a decision I thought I should make?”, “What if I’m not sure?”

Here are a few things to consider when making heart-centered decisions...

Forgiveness is a BIG topic. We often hear about the importance of forgiving others—how carrying anger and resentment is a heavy load. Forgiveness lightens that emotional load. But what about forgiving yourself?

I’ve thought about this a lot. When I asked myself, "What do I need to forgive myself for?" a long list came to mind. I need to forgive myself for all the harsh things I’ve believed about myself. The inner voice that says I’m not smart enough, I weigh too much, I don’t always make the best choices, I didn’t follow through, I judged someone unfairly, I didn’t show enough kindness or empathy. The list seems endless. Writing it down is tough, but it’s necessary and it brings clarity.

So why am I so hard on myself? I know I’m not alone in this. Many of us have an inner critic that’s harsh and unforgiving. It’s important to explore where these thoughts come from. Understanding the root of your self-criticism is the first step toward dismantling it. Are these beliefs even true? Sure, some things may hold some truth—we all have moments of impatience or judgment—but they don’t have to define us. We’re human, after all, and humans are not perfect.

So, where do we go from there? How do we move beyond self-sabotaging thoughts and head toward self-forgiveness?

Self-doubt and intuition are two forces that shape the way we make decisions, move through life, and pursue our dreams. At first glance, they may seem like opposites—self-doubt being the voice that holds us back, while intuition guides us forward. Instead, think of these two internal forces as intertwined, often working together.

Understanding Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is that inner voice that questions our capabilities, skills, and decisions. It can be rooted in fear, past experiences, or someone else’s expectations. It is a natural human response designed to protect us from failure and uncertainty.

When doubt becomes our default reaction, it can become overpowering, stifling creativity and holding us back from pursuing opportunities that align with our true desires.

The Role of Intuition

Intuition, on the other hand, is a quiet but powerful sense of knowing. It’s often described as a gut feeling or an inner nudge that directs us toward what feels right. Intuition operates on a deeper level, processing subconscious information and aligning our actions with our values and goals. It’s our mind’s ability to synthesize complex information into a clear signal.

The Connection Between Self-Doubt and Intuition

The relationship between self-doubt and intuition is complex...

We all have thoughts, ideas, and dreams about our future. You may want to own a company, get a promotion, make a lot of money, start a foundation, buy a house, get a master’s or PHD, teach a course, travel the world, run a marathon, learn how to play a musical instrument, make a documentary, visit all of the national parks…

But what if you didn’t do any of those things? What if you chose to ignore your ideas or dreams, sidelining them indefinitely? How would you feel?

You may find yourself wondering why you didn’t take that leap, start that project, or pursue that passion. Over time, the missed opportunities could weigh heavily on your mind, leading to a sense of dissatisfaction or even resentment. Without following through, you might never fully understand your true potential or discover what you’re truly capable of achieving.

Regrets can be powerful and persistent emotions that linger long after opportunities have passed. When you set aside your dreams and ideas, the initial sense of comfort in avoiding risk or uncertainty might be quickly replaced by a nagging sense of “what could have been.”

Regrets can manifest in different ways...