I think about my future all too often. Being present and in the moment is challenging for me. Ok, I’m going to cut myself some slack here. I’ve experienced a tremendous amount of change this past year - relocating and losing a parent among them. And now I am trying to figure out what’s next for me. Where will I live? What does my coaching practice look like? Do I need to find other work while my business grows? It’s a lot to think about and it tends to keep me in future mode.

That being said, constantly being in future mode, while exciting, can also be stressful and anxiety-inducing.

Does any of this sound familiar? Do you struggle to remain in the present?

So what is the solution? What can keep us in the here and now?

Here are some practical ways to stay in the moment.

Mindfulness practices - You can incorporate small moments of mindfulness throughout your day. For instance, when you’re drinking your morning coffee or tea, focus on the warmth of the cup in your hands and take in the aroma and the taste. While cooking, pay attention to the ingredients, how you are combining them, and the delicious aromas. These simple acts of awareness can anchor you to the present moment.

Mindful Breathing - If you find yourself dwelling on the future, breathe deeply for a few minutes. Add visualization to the mix - as you inhale, imagine breathing in calmness and clarity, and as you exhale, visualize releasing stress and tension. You can then add movement by extending your arms overhead when inhaling and lowering them slowly when exhaling.

Mindful Communication - Practice reflective listening when communicating with friends and family. In this instance, you are truly hearing what the other is saying and reflecting it back to them in your own words...

Fear of failure is all too common. There’s judgment, mostly from yourself. I could have done better. I didn’t think it through. I feel like an idiot. I feel less than. What will people think?

Meanwhile, everyone else is impressed that you made the effort and put your all into it. They think it took courage and wish they were brave enough to try it, whatever “it” is. In fact, they are beating themselves up for not trying to make a go of it. And so it goes. Even folks who are impressed with your efforts are beating themselves up and feel like a failure.

Fear of failure is so embedded in our psyches that it stops us in our tracks. It’s like touching a hot burner. I won’t do that again.

What if you gave yourself permission to fail? Seriously. What if you changed your mindset about failure and approached it from curiosity? Treat it like an experiment - what if I tried this or this or this? What would happen? Ok, that didn’t quite work. What if I tried it this way? How much better would that be? How much more open to possibility would you be if you took the fear out of the equation? Ok, I’m not naive. A little angst is in order and probably healthy. It can certainly motivate you. And I know there are real-life consequences and others to think about. Yet, I can’t help thinking that a new approach may be a healthy choice.

Let’s explore what this shift in mindset can do for you.

Encourages innovation and creativity - When you're not afraid to fail…

Do you feel like you have no control over your circumstances or what is happening around you?

We all struggle with circumstances beyond our control. The world at large may feel like it is about to implode or feel tenuous at best. Add to this some personal circumstances you are experiencing that you may have little or no control over. It’s a recipe for stress and anxiety times 100!

First things first - there are a few things to consider that will help you take stock of the impact.

Awareness: Take note of how it makes you feel emotionally and physically. Do you feel stress or anxiety? Are you angry or frustrated? How is it showing up? Do you have a short temper? Are you struggling to stay focused? Are you exhausted? Are you losing sleep? Is it affecting your appetite? I’m here to tell you that any and all of these reactions are par for the course.

Acknowledgement: Take stock of all the things you CAN control - your daily activities, your reaction to life events, how you take care of yourself, the work that you do, who you socialize with, and what brings you joy. You may realize you have more control over your life than you originally thought.

Understanding: Understand that there are just some things that are beyond your control. By all means, take it all in, noodle on it for a while, maybe even dwell on it for an extended period of time. Then, take a deep breath and accept that there is very little and quite possibly nothing you can do about that particular thing! Feel the freedom of your acceptance. It’s liberating.

Now let’s discuss what you have the power to control…

Do you wonder why you are stuck? Are you floating along? Just existing? Not progressing? Not evolving? We often place a negative connotation on “being stuck”. We blame ourselves. We decide we are lazy. We decide we cannot do whatever it is we want to do.

Well, maybe you are lazy or maybe it’s inertia, or both. So what are the definitions of inertia and laziness? What leads to being in a state of inertia or being lazy? More importantly, how can we overcome either one?

“Inertia” is the tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. In basic terms, inertia is the resistance to change. It’s difficult to start a new task or change a routine.

Characteristics of Inertia

Resist Change: People experiencing inertia often find it difficult to start new projects or make lifestyle changes. This is true even when they acknowledge the benefits.

Routine-Based: Inertia is often tied to everyday routines and habits, where the comfort of the familiar outweighs the desire for change.

External Motivators Required: To overcome inertia, an external force or motivation is usually needed, such as a life event, an inspirational person, or a new opportunity.

Causes of Inertia

Fear of the Unknown: Change can be daunting…

I read an article in the New York Times “How to Like Yourself More” by Melissa Kirsh. I’m citing it because it resonated so completely. The author wants to be a person with practices, especially nourishing ones like yoga, mindfulness, or gratitude practices. Yet she hesitates to declare she has adopted a practice because she is not sure she will stick with it. The good news is that she found one practice that has become a habit.

I too, want to be a person with practices that I actually stick with for an extended period of time if not forever (Is forever even possible?). My average for any practice is 2-3 months. This is true for all sorts of practices that I hope will become a habit - healthy eating, exercising, journaling, meditating, or keeping a gratitude list are all examples.

I used to think I would go back to whatever I stopped doing but I rarely do. The gratitude list is one exception. I have gone back to this practice more than once and will continue to do so. It could be because it has a high time commitment/benefit ratio and it truly makes a difference in how I view my world.

Other practices like healthy eating or…

Childhood is all about unabashed curiosity. I used to spend an inordinate amount of time playing with my Barbie dolls (don’t judge!) - acting out scenarios, dressing them up, and creating a dialog between them. And then there was my Easy Bake oven where I mastered the birthday cake. Summers were devoted to pool time where I spent hours playing or at least until my lips turned blue. This play was all fueled by curiosity.

And then, somewhere along the line, I tamped down my curiosity. I’m not sure when it happened. It’s not uncommon. It happens as we head toward adulthood. Life gets in the way. We get busy with work, obligations, and our social lives. We might think we are being judged and our curiosity gets tamped down even more. Our fears take hold and we think we are not capable of achieving something. We may question our self-worth and believe that we don’t deserve something.

I started to miss my curiosity so I began to explore why it had diminished as much as it did. It took a lot of self-exploration and I realized I was hiding behind my fears and limiting beliefs. I was living in my own little safety bubble. I was playing it small.

I was so grateful when my curiosity slowly reappeared. I hadn’t fully realized the impact it had had on my life. And you know what reappeared with it…