Do you wonder why you are stuck? Are you floating along? Just existing? Not progressing? Not evolving? We often place a negative connotation on “being stuck”. We blame ourselves. We decide we are lazy. We decide we cannot do whatever it is we want to do.

Well, maybe you are lazy or maybe it’s inertia, or both. So what are the definitions of inertia and laziness? What leads to being in a state of inertia or being lazy? More importantly, how can we overcome either one?

“Inertia” is the tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. In basic terms, inertia is the resistance to change. It’s difficult to start a new task or change a routine.

Characteristics of Inertia

Resist Change: People experiencing inertia often find it difficult to start new projects or make lifestyle changes. This is true even when they acknowledge the benefits.

Routine-Based: Inertia is often tied to everyday routines and habits, where the comfort of the familiar outweighs the desire for change.

External Motivators Required: To overcome inertia, an external force or motivation is usually needed, such as a life event, an inspirational person, or a new opportunity.

Causes of Inertia

Fear of the Unknown: Change can be daunting…

I read an article in the New York Times “How to Like Yourself More” by Melissa Kirsh. I’m citing it because it resonated so completely. The author wants to be a person with practices, especially nourishing ones like yoga, mindfulness, or gratitude practices. Yet she hesitates to declare she has adopted a practice because she is not sure she will stick with it. The good news is that she found one practice that has become a habit.

I too, want to be a person with practices that I actually stick with for an extended period of time if not forever (Is forever even possible?). My average for any practice is 2-3 months. This is true for all sorts of practices that I hope will become a habit - healthy eating, exercising, journaling, meditating, or keeping a gratitude list are all examples.

I used to think I would go back to whatever I stopped doing but I rarely do. The gratitude list is one exception. I have gone back to this practice more than once and will continue to do so. It could be because it has a high time commitment/benefit ratio and it truly makes a difference in how I view my world.

Other practices like healthy eating or…

I am all over the place these days! I am having trouble focusing on the here and now? My brain is a bit foggy. I switch gears in the middle of doing one thing to do another. My physical well-being is on the fritz - I tested positive for COVID for the 1st time. I thought I was invincible - immune to COVID. Nope. My emotions are all over the place too. I am happy one minute and sad the next. There was a scene in a show I was watching that just did me in…I was sobbing. What the heck! Seriously!

The more my mental, physical, and emotional well-being goes astray, the more unfocused I become. I shared the fact that I tested positive for COVID with some very astute coaches. The key takeaway is that this downtime is a gift - everything I think I need to do can wait. It’s a time to be still, be aware, and watch for messages from the universe.

So that is what I’m doing. I am slowly becoming acutely aware of why I am unfocused, physically depleted, and emotionally drained.

First, I am grieving the loss of my parents - my father a few months ago and my mother six years ago. It comes out of nowhere. That’s the way grief works. My desire to talk to them is deep and profound.

Second, I am in transition. In fact, I have been in a constant state of change and transition for close to 10 months now including a relocation and a loss. I would normally be close to settled in my new life except for the fact that I plan to move again. I feel untethered, ungrounded, and exhausted…

I honestly…

Do you set a goal, try to figure out how to achieve it, and run into obstacles that stop you from working toward your goal? Do these obstacles feel distinctly personal like maybe you are getting in your own way? Perhaps assessing your fears instead of setting goals is a good place to start.

After all, fear is a powerful driver that can stop us in our tracks. So, what is the cost of inaction?

Stagnation and Regret: Fear can often dictate our decisions and actions. Allowing this to happen risks stagnation and possibly missing out on growth opportunities. Over time, this can lead to feelings of regret and ultimately dissatisfaction with our lack of action.

Missed Opportunities: Fear can stop us from stepping outside of our comfort zone and grabbing opportunities that come our way. We miss out on experiences and connections that can lead to something you never thought possible.

Diminished Confidence: Each missed opportunity reinforces the belief that we are incapable or unworthy of success. This tends to perpetuate a cycle of inaction and self-doubt.

Hiding in Plain Sight: The more inaction…

Do you say yes to every request without even thinking about it? Are you frustrated when you are expected to work the extra hours or answer work emails after hours? Are you everyone’s go-to for advice or to help out in some way?

I hate to break it to you but you may be part of the problem. You have trained your boss, partner, family, and friends to expect you to be there for them no matter what. The good news is that you can also train them to respect your boundaries.

Why do we say yes to everything? Why is setting boundaries so difficult?

Fear of disappointing others is a big one. Another one is the need for approval. Or you may feel obliged to say yes out of guilt. Some people avoid conflict at all costs and choose to go along with any request to get along with others. You may be conditioned not to set boundaries. It also could be based on cultural or societal expectations and norms. And finally, self-worth can play a role. If you have low self-esteem you may not feel you deserve to set boundaries.

Let’s move on to why it is important to set boundaries.

It protects your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It allows you to prioritize self-care and prevent burnout, resentment, and exhaustion.

It helps you to develop healthy relationships…

Have you experienced the loss of a loved one recently? Are you having a hard time processing your emotions?

I lost my father recently. He was 99 years old and lived a full vibrant life. I feel so fortunate to have had him in my life for so long. He survived my mom by six years who died in 2018. The fact that both my parents are gone is daunting because they brought the family together. They loved spending time with their six kids. They were our center.

My mom was the life force of the family. She was also the family worrier and made sure she and my dad checked in with each of us on a regular basis. My father took over as the family worrier when she passed and called all six of us every day. He so wanted to be there for us and would end each call with “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Let’s talk about those emotions that you are busy processing.

Are you allowing yourself to feel? The emotions of grief and loss are going to be there whether you want them or not and you may not always appreciate when they show up. It could be in the middle of a conversation or the middle of a work day. Grief is not on a schedule. Regardless, let the feelings come. It’s all part of the process.

Are you sharing your feelings with your family and friends? My siblings and I are all grieving in our own ways. I find it hits me when I least expect it, this profound sadness. My eyes well up and I wonder what we are going to do without him. I will let one of my siblings know if I am having a hard time. It’s usually as simple as telling them that I miss him. My sister and I text each other when the sadness creeps up on us. The important thing is to share these emotions. Your family will be grateful that they aren’t the only ones feeling this way and your friends want to be there for you…