One of the important lessons I learned early on is that taking care of myself while caring for my elderly parent is crucial for both our well-being. It took me a while to get up to speed and it made all the difference.

What does self-care look like?

Your physical well-being: We frequently hear about the importance of exercise, a healthy diet, and getting adequate sleep. This is especially true when caring for others. I get that the stress of caring for a parent can lead you to grab a bag of chips and distract yourself in front of the TV until the late hours. Eventually, it takes a toll. Your energy level plummets and your patience wears thin. It’s not a pretty picture.

If you do not already have an exercise routine, find one that fits your schedule and that you will enjoy doing…

You need a ton of energy to care for your parent. Cutting back on processed foods…

Sleep can be elusive depending on the level of care you are providing. It’s critical to get at least 6 - 8 hours of sleep a night. I do not function well when I don’t get enough sleep.

Your emotional well-being: Taking breaks is essential…

What happens when you have an elderly parent who needs 24/7 care? How do you help them adjust to a life full of change and transition?

I recently moved back to my hometown after living away for four decades. I did this for many reasons; participating in the care of my 98-year-old (now 99) father was a significant factor, along with a desire to be closer to family and to live in a smaller, more affordable city.

Not only did I move home but I moved in with my father. Living with my elderly father after living on my own for most of my life required some adjustment to say the least. And of course, this was a significant change for my father as well…

What I want to highlight here are the changes that my father is experiencing and their effect…

All of a sudden, you need more care. You need to depend on your family more than ever. You were always the one who took care of them and now your independence is almost completely gone. It’s challenging, demoralizing, and frustrating. The overriding thought is that you no longer feel useful…

So how do you help your parent maintain some independence and continue to feel useful?

Why is being comfortable with being uncomfortable important? What benefits does it offer?

It expands your comfort zone. What once was uncomfortable eventually becomes familiar setting you up to handle challenges with less fear.

It enhances your ability to adapt to new situations. Nothing goes exactly to plan. Adaptability is essential to managing any major life change.

It finetunes your decision-making and problem-solving skills. Challenges such as major life changes can involve making some tough decisions. Developing the ability to make decisions and solve problems in challenging situations can build these skills…

With all of the resources at your disposal, how do you determine what makes sense to and for you? Let me suggest the most powerful resource - your intuition. Your intuition is your inner voice, a gut feeling, an internal compass. It goes beyond logic and reason. It helps us make decisions that align with who we are and our values. It tells us what feels right. Trusting your intuition can unlock your full potential and enhance your creativity.

Here are a few reasons why you are your best resource… After all, who better to determine what is right for you than YOU?

I like to set an intention for each new year. I choose a word that I want the year to represent for me. Last year my word was “community”. I chose this word because I wanted to strengthen and build upon my community of friends. As the year went on, my community changed and expanded especially in the final six months.

Why do this? It is a simple and effective way to guide your actions. It sets an intention for the future and can be a powerful way to focus and bring clarity to a specific desire or need. It serves as a reminder about what is important to you and encourages mindfulness and reflection throughout the year…

The last two months of the year can be challenging. You already have a lot on your plate with all the NEW in your life - the new job, new home, new environment, new relationship status, new family member, new financial status, or new career - you get the picture. Then the holidays appear and that change takes on a whole new significance. The season can either be joyous or a big old mess or something in between.

Let’s face it. The holiday season comes with its own set of expectations. There is money to be spent, friends and relatives to see, events to attend, and food and drinks to consume. All of these things can be laden with stress and anxiety for starters, and then you throw in something new, and those emotions increase tenfold. You just moved and are feeling lonely, you just got divorced and miss the family you had, you recently lost a loved one and are grieving, you started a new job or career and are feeling the crunch of performing, or you just got laid off and are wondering how you can afford to buy gifts.

The holiday season is going to show up like clockwork every year whether we like it or not so here are a few recommendations to equip you with the goods to survive it all…