Managing the holiday season AMID change and transition
The last two months of the year can be challenging. You already have a lot on your plate with all the NEW in your life - the new job, new home, new environment, new relationship status, new family member, new financial status, or new career - you get the picture. Then the holidays appear and that change takes on a whole new significance. The season can either be joyous or a big old mess or something in between.
Let’s face it. The holiday season comes with its own set of expectations. There is money to be spent, friends and relatives to see, events to attend, and food and drinks to consume. All of these things can be laden with stress and anxiety for starters, and then you throw in something new, and those emotions increase tenfold. You just moved and are feeling lonely, you just got divorced and miss the family you had, you recently lost a loved one and are grieving, you started a new job or career and are feeling the crunch of performing, or you just got laid off and are wondering how you can afford to buy gifts.
The holiday season is going to show up like clockwork every year whether we like it or not so here are a few recommendations to equip you with the goods to survive it all.
Acknowledge and own your feelings. Your circumstances and how you process the emotions that come with change and transition will vary. Your feelings are your feelings. Be kind to yourself and refrain from judgment.
Adjust your expectations based on what is currently going on. Recognize that things might be different. That’s to be expected. Be realistic about what you can and cannot handle.
Create some new traditions or find some alternative ways to celebrate. My family used to have theme holidays. My dad would send us a funny letter telling us what the theme for that year was - write a story, entertain the family with a song, video, or game, or bring a white elephant gift to exchange.
Maybe you can’t afford gifts or you don’t have the time to shop. Make everyone a homemade spice mix, create a heartfelt card telling someone how much they mean to you, or offer a date in the new year to go gallery hopping, explore a new park, make them dinner, or join them for a potluck.
Plan. What can you do ahead of time? What social event can you skip? Can you get someone else to decorate or pick up that gift? Can you do one-stop shopping? Do what you can, skip the rest, and don’t feel guilty for not doing something. If Aunt Becky is upset that you are not coming to her party, arrange another time to get together.
Focus on the positive aspects of the “new” in your life. Ok, maybe you want to wallow in your circumstances for a bit. Go for it. Then take a break from wallowing and think about the good things in your life. What are you grateful for right now?
Take care of yourself. Get help, communicate your anxiety, take a nap, go for a walk, take a social media break…whatever it takes to not only survive but enjoy the holiday season.
Most people have experienced some disappointments during the holiday season. It’s usually related to unmet expectations.
Whether you are in the midst of a big change or not, you can choose to have the holiday you want. Relax your expectations and go with the flow!