What I have come to realize is that we usually have very little idea about what is going on in other people’s lives and what they are feeling or experiencing at any given moment. This is true for total strangers and even people we know well. Yet we make assumptions about what they are feeling and why. We make assumptions based on how we view the world which may be very different from how the other person views the world.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I need to create a judgment-free zone. I know. I know. What makes me think I can pull this off? We don’t live in a non-judgmental, forgiving world.

It’s too easy to sit back and make up stories about people based on little or no information. It’s too easy to make assumptions. It’s too easy NOT to try and understand where people are coming from, what they might be going through, and the fears that they are grappling with.

Call me an optimist. Call me an idealist. Call me an unrealistic nutter. I have to try.

So, here is what I am going to do.

I am going to show compassion.

I am going to…

Communication is not limited to words alone – much of what we convey is expressed through non-verbal cues. Learning to decipher these subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle signals will help you better understand what someone is truly attempting to communicate.

Types of Non-Verbal Communication

Body Language: Gestures, posture, and facial expressions can reveal emotions and intentions. For example, crossed arms may indicate discomfort whereas open body language suggests receptiveness.

Eye Contact: Eye contact can convey confidence and interest in the conversation. Avoiding eye contact may signal shyness, discomfort, or dishonesty.

Tone of Voice: The tone, pitch, and tempo of someone's voice can convey emotions like excitement or frustration. A monotone voice may indicate boredom or disinterest, while a lively tone suggests enthusiasm and engagement.

Microexpressions: These are brief facial expressions that show on someone's face, revealing their true emotions.

What Are They Not Saying?:

Hidden Emotions: Non-verbal cues often reveal underlying emotions. For example, a forced smile may hide feelings of sadness or discomfort while a furrowed brow may indicate…

The Essence of Community

Shared Understanding: they provide a safe space where you can discuss your experiences, your successes, and your fears. You also feel a sense of belonging and validation.

Collective Wisdom: there’s nothing better than sharing your experience and insights and hearing from others on how they are maneuvering change and transition. I always learn something from my communities and appreciate and value the various perspectives.

Emotional Support: we need empathy, compassion, and encouragement during times of change. Your communities can offer that in spades. The mere fact that you are not alone in whatever you are going through can significantly bolster your resilience.

The Power of Connection

Accountability and Motivation: your communities can hold you accountable for your intentions and commitments which will encourage you to stay motivated…

One of the important lessons I learned early on is that taking care of myself while caring for my elderly parent is crucial for both our well-being. It took me a while to get up to speed and it made all the difference.

What does self-care look like?

Your physical well-being: We frequently hear about the importance of exercise, a healthy diet, and getting adequate sleep. This is especially true when caring for others. I get that the stress of caring for a parent can lead you to grab a bag of chips and distract yourself in front of the TV until the late hours. Eventually, it takes a toll. Your energy level plummets and your patience wears thin. It’s not a pretty picture.

If you do not already have an exercise routine, find one that fits your schedule and that you will enjoy doing…

You need a ton of energy to care for your parent. Cutting back on processed foods…

Sleep can be elusive depending on the level of care you are providing. It’s critical to get at least 6 - 8 hours of sleep a night. I do not function well when I don’t get enough sleep.

Your emotional well-being: Taking breaks is essential…

What happens when you have an elderly parent who needs 24/7 care? How do you help them adjust to a life full of change and transition?

I recently moved back to my hometown after living away for four decades. I did this for many reasons; participating in the care of my 98-year-old (now 99) father was a significant factor, along with a desire to be closer to family and to live in a smaller, more affordable city.

Not only did I move home but I moved in with my father. Living with my elderly father after living on my own for most of my life required some adjustment to say the least. And of course, this was a significant change for my father as well…

What I want to highlight here are the changes that my father is experiencing and their effect…

All of a sudden, you need more care. You need to depend on your family more than ever. You were always the one who took care of them and now your independence is almost completely gone. It’s challenging, demoralizing, and frustrating. The overriding thought is that you no longer feel useful…

So how do you help your parent maintain some independence and continue to feel useful?

Do you have an internal voice that is not very kind? Do you get mad at yourself for the simplest things like dropping something or forgetting to buy the milk?

What happens when less than kind remarks or behavior is directed toward you? Do you question your worth, get angry, or wonder what you did wrong? What happens when you make a snide remark? Do you wish you could take it back?

Now think about the time when someone showed you kindness…