Create a judGment-free zone
Do you sometimes become impatient or angry with someone’s behavior? Are you confused about what they are saying or doing? Do you create a story about what is going on? Truthfully, I certainly have made some assumptions and created some stories around behaviors that have rubbed me the wrong way. Judgment rears its ugly head and I’m analyzing the whats and the whys of it all.
What I have come to realize is that we usually have very little idea about what is going on in other people’s lives and what they are feeling or experiencing at any given moment. This is true for total strangers and even people we know well. Yet we make assumptions about what they are feeling and why. We make assumptions based on how we view the world which may be very different from how the other person views the world.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I need to create a judgment-free zone. I know. I know. What makes me think I can pull this off? We don’t live in a non-judgmental, forgiving world.
It’s too easy to sit back and make up stories about people based on little or no information. It’s too easy to make assumptions. It’s too easy NOT to try and understand where people are coming from, what they might be going through, and the fears that they are grappling with.
Call me an optimist. Call me an idealist. Call me an unrealistic nutter. I have to try.
So, here is what I am going to do.
I am going to show compassion.
I am going to consider that someone might be experiencing something difficult that is affecting their behavior and not take it personally.
I am going to be kind as a default.
I am going to ask questions because I truly want to know what others think.
I am going to listen with intention and empathy.
I am going to leave my judgmental thinking at the door and attempt to understand other people’s points of view.
I am going to take a deep breath and count to ten before I say something I will regret.
I am going to give myself grace when I start judging (It’s a hard habit to break!) and promise to do better.
It’s tough out there and we each have the power to create a kinder, gentler world.
Who is going to join me in creating a judgment-free zone?