The Essence of Community

Shared Understanding: they provide a safe space where you can discuss your experiences, your successes, and your fears. You also feel a sense of belonging and validation.

Collective Wisdom: there’s nothing better than sharing your experience and insights and hearing from others on how they are maneuvering change and transition. I always learn something from my communities and appreciate and value the various perspectives.

Emotional Support: we need empathy, compassion, and encouragement during times of change. Your communities can offer that in spades. The mere fact that you are not alone in whatever you are going through can significantly bolster your resilience.

The Power of Connection

Accountability and Motivation: your communities can hold you accountable for your intentions and commitments which will encourage you to stay motivated…

One of the important lessons I learned early on is that taking care of myself while caring for my elderly parent is crucial for both our well-being. It took me a while to get up to speed and it made all the difference.

What does self-care look like?

Your physical well-being: We frequently hear about the importance of exercise, a healthy diet, and getting adequate sleep. This is especially true when caring for others. I get that the stress of caring for a parent can lead you to grab a bag of chips and distract yourself in front of the TV until the late hours. Eventually, it takes a toll. Your energy level plummets and your patience wears thin. It’s not a pretty picture.

If you do not already have an exercise routine, find one that fits your schedule and that you will enjoy doing…

You need a ton of energy to care for your parent. Cutting back on processed foods…

Sleep can be elusive depending on the level of care you are providing. It’s critical to get at least 6 - 8 hours of sleep a night. I do not function well when I don’t get enough sleep.

Your emotional well-being: Taking breaks is essential…

What happens when you have an elderly parent who needs 24/7 care? How do you help them adjust to a life full of change and transition?

I recently moved back to my hometown after living away for four decades. I did this for many reasons; participating in the care of my 98-year-old (now 99) father was a significant factor, along with a desire to be closer to family and to live in a smaller, more affordable city.

Not only did I move home but I moved in with my father. Living with my elderly father after living on my own for most of my life required some adjustment to say the least. And of course, this was a significant change for my father as well…

What I want to highlight here are the changes that my father is experiencing and their effect…

All of a sudden, you need more care. You need to depend on your family more than ever. You were always the one who took care of them and now your independence is almost completely gone. It’s challenging, demoralizing, and frustrating. The overriding thought is that you no longer feel useful…

So how do you help your parent maintain some independence and continue to feel useful?

Do you have an internal voice that is not very kind? Do you get mad at yourself for the simplest things like dropping something or forgetting to buy the milk?

What happens when less than kind remarks or behavior is directed toward you? Do you question your worth, get angry, or wonder what you did wrong? What happens when you make a snide remark? Do you wish you could take it back?

Now think about the time when someone showed you kindness…

Coaching requires intentional listening. What that means is that you listen without bringing YOU and your experiences into the mix. You listen for what is being said. You note the non-verbal cues. You read between the lines - what is NOT being said.

As a coach, you develop a keen awareness as to when you are not fully present, and you can refocus your attention in the moment. Learning to really listen takes constant work. And as you get better…