I've been thinking a lot about attachment lately.

It's amazing how often it disguises itself as planning, certainty, or simply wanting life to unfold a certain way.

I've become attached to certain outcomes.

I keep wondering, When is it going to happen?

When.

When.

When.

As I've sat with it, I've realized something deeper.

I'm not only attached to these outcomes—I'm also afraid they won't happen.

That's a tough combination.

When we're attached to one specific outcome and fearful of not getting it, we close ourselves off. We stop seeing possibilities that don't fit the picture we've created in our minds. We grip tighter instead of opening wider.

And sometimes, we become the very thing standing in our own way…

Last week, I was having a perfectly lovely conversation with a friend. We were talking about our plans for the future when something they said completely triggered me. I nearly burst into tears right in the middle of the conversation. I eventually got off the call and then went into a full-blown spiral.

Not their fault. They were simply sharing what was happening in their life. They had absolutely no idea that I had launched into a spectacular pity party, complete with all my old stories, yelling at the universe to give me a break.

A bit dramatic? Perhaps.

But I couldn't ignore it.

One thing I've learned about myself is that I'm usually pretty aware of what triggers me. I don't let myself off the hook. I sit with it and try to understand why it landed so hard. Eventually, I have to surrender to it and trust that, if I'm willing to stay with it long enough, something deeper will reveal itself.

More often than not, it's something I've faced before.

In fact, I was convinced I'd already dealt with this one…

Letting go has been a significant theme for me for quite some time. The stories I tell myself. The self-judgement. The persistent thoughts. The experiences that have made an indelible impact on my life.

It’s not just me. As a coach, I hear this frequently. I hear it from my friends and family. I hear it in my communities. The stories and thoughts that are on repeat. The self-judgment that sneaks in most days. The past experiences that shape who we are and how we interact with the world.

How do we change the narrative, get rid of the stories, process the experiences in a way that allows us to release the pain and uncertainty? Awareness is the first step. Note the themes that show up in your life. Do you always react a certain way when you witness a specific type of behavior? Do you have a strange aversion to something and don’t know why? Do you have a persistent thought that won’t go away? Are you putting something off for way too long?

Hey there—welcome to the intentional roamer, a travel journal, of sorts!

I’m at a point in my life where…I actually don’t know what’s next. At all. I just sold my house, put my stuff in storage, packed my car, and now I’m basically free as a bird—just me and a dog named Bebe.

I’m not gonna lie. It’s a little disconcerting. But it’s also crazy exciting. Normally, a moment like this would send me into a full-on overthinking spiral. Where will I live? What will I do? What’s my five-year plan? 

And then I realized: I don’t have to decide anything right now.

The relief was huge. Like, deep exhale, shoulders-down, kind of relief. I experienced a complete sense of freedom…