In the midst of analyzing a spreadsheet full of career options, pros, cons, and practical considerations with my client, I noticed something missing: the heart. We were fully immersed in the logic and next steps but the emotional and intuitive aspect of decision-making was left out.

It’s easy to forget how powerful the heart is when making choices, especially in something as monumental as a career change. I dare to say you should consider your heart in almost any decision you make from what ice cream flavor you want to bigger decisions that impact you as well as everyone around you.

Honestly, why wouldn’t you add your heart to the mix? After all, major life decisions like switching careers, relocating, retiring, or beginning a new relationship all deserve to be viewed through your heart. Heart-centered decisions resonate on a deeper level. You are not only considering external success. You are considering internal fulfillment.

Asking questions like “What would your heart say?” and “What would your heart do?” seem pretty relevant to major decisions. You are thinking about committing to something big. It is a 24/7 change. It will affect how you view yourself, how you live your life, and how you interact with others. It will affect your emotional and physical well-being. It should feel right—not just logically, but emotionally.

You are probably asking “How do I ask my heart if I am making the right decision?”, “What if my heart says no to a decision I thought I should make?”, “What if I’m not sure?”

Here are a few things to consider when making heart-centered decisions...

We all have thoughts, ideas, and dreams about our future. You may want to own a company, get a promotion, make a lot of money, start a foundation, buy a house, get a master’s or PHD, teach a course, travel the world, run a marathon, learn how to play a musical instrument, make a documentary, visit all of the national parks…

But what if you didn’t do any of those things? What if you chose to ignore your ideas or dreams, sidelining them indefinitely? How would you feel?

You may find yourself wondering why you didn’t take that leap, start that project, or pursue that passion. Over time, the missed opportunities could weigh heavily on your mind, leading to a sense of dissatisfaction or even resentment. Without following through, you might never fully understand your true potential or discover what you’re truly capable of achieving.

Regrets can be powerful and persistent emotions that linger long after opportunities have passed. When you set aside your dreams and ideas, the initial sense of comfort in avoiding risk or uncertainty might be quickly replaced by a nagging sense of “what could have been.”

Regrets can manifest in different ways...

Thinking about making a big life change, like finding a new job, switching careers, moving across the country, or retiring? It's no small task! Here’s a useful tool to get you started.

First, set aside some dedicated time, even if it’s just an hour. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Write down your answers in a notebook or computer. This will be a great resource as you forge ahead.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What Big Life Change do I want to make?

Clearly indicate the change you are considering. For example, “I want to relocate,” “I want to find a new job,” “I want to change careers,” or “I want to retire.”

If you’re not sure exactly what you want to do, start with a feeling: “I want to feel more secure financially,” “I want to lead a more fulfilling life,” “I want to experience what it’s like living in a larger city,” etc.

2. Why do I want to make this change?

List all the reasons driving your desire for this change. Be honest and detailed:

“I want to move to be closer to friends or family.”

“I have always wanted to live near the ocean/mountains/lake.”

“I want to find a new job that is more fulfilling or challenging.”

“I want to make more money.”

“I don’t like my new boss.”

“I need a job near where I live.”

“I want to change to a career that gives me purpose and/or has better potential for advancement.”

“I want to retire so I can spend more time traveling, spend more time with my family, or check off things on my bucket list.”

3. When do I want to make this change?

Set a timeline for the change you want to make. For instance, “I want to find …

I am all over the place these days! I am having trouble focusing on the here and now? My brain is a bit foggy. I switch gears in the middle of doing one thing to do another. My physical well-being is on the fritz - I tested positive for COVID for the 1st time. I thought I was invincible - immune to COVID. Nope. My emotions are all over the place too. I am happy one minute and sad the next. There was a scene in a show I was watching that just did me in…I was sobbing. What the heck! Seriously!

The more my mental, physical, and emotional well-being goes astray, the more unfocused I become. I shared the fact that I tested positive for COVID with some very astute coaches. The key takeaway is that this downtime is a gift - everything I think I need to do can wait. It’s a time to be still, be aware, and watch for messages from the universe.

So that is what I’m doing. I am slowly becoming acutely aware of why I am unfocused, physically depleted, and emotionally drained.

First, I am grieving the loss of my parents - my father a few months ago and my mother six years ago. It comes out of nowhere. That’s the way grief works. My desire to talk to them is deep and profound.

Second, I am in transition. In fact, I have been in a constant state of change and transition for close to 10 months now including a relocation and a loss. I would normally be close to settled in my new life except for the fact that I plan to move again. I feel untethered, ungrounded, and exhausted…

I honestly…

Unplanned changes come in many forms - a layoff, the loss of a loved one, a breakup, a health crisis, or a financial setback are all examples.

It blindsides you. It sucks. It hurts. It makes you angry. You soul search. You rant. You wallow. You hide. All valid reactions. All probably necessary.

We’ve all experienced one or more unplanned changes. We’ve all watched others go through them. So how do we support someone who is going through it? Well, for one thing, it’s not a one-size-fits-all experience. It’s a process and we all approach it differently.

To bring this to a personal level, I lost my father recently and I am fresh in the grieving process. I will write about it at some point. It’s too soon though. What I will say is that we; myself, my siblings, and our extended family, are all grieving in our own way. I’m sure there are similarities and it’s also unique to each of us.

Here are some tips on how to support someone who has experienced an unplanned event:

Be there. Be present for them. Just your presence can offer a tremendous amount of comfort. And adjusting to their new normal can take quite a while. Make sure you’re still there after the dust settles.

Validate their feelings. Whether it is anger…

The experience of change, good or bad, has repercussions. One change can set you on a new course and have so much meaning in your life. It can affect you in a myriad of ways - some of which you may not have thought of when the change occurred.

It’s the domino effect of a given change that can throw you off course. You start a new relationship but how is it affecting your other relationships? Are you ignoring other people or responsibilities? You get promoted at work but what about the person you replaced and whose shoes you have to fill? Will you have to work longer hours? What impact will this have on your co-workers? How will it affect your life outside of work? You were unexpectedly laid off and how will you pay the mortgage on the new house you just bought? How will this affect your partner or your family?

One thing to acknowledge is that you play a role in every change no matter whether you choose to make a change or a change is thrust upon you. Your reaction to change will vary and is dependent on many factors; the key ones being your previous experience with change, your current circumstances, and your willingness to embrace the unknown…