This is the first episode of my travel journal, The Intentional Roamer. If you missed the intro video, I am on a drive-about visiting friends and family. I thought I’d share my experience. It is similar to my posts about the emotional impact of change and transition, but in audio form.

Speaking of what’s getting in the way, this trip sparked a couple of realizations about my need to feel productive and how I judge myself. Scarcity mindset got some airtime too.

Also, did I retire and am just not willing to admit it? On that note, can we retire the word “retire”? It sounds like we are taking a big nap for the rest of our days.

Honestly, can we come up with a new word or phrase, or maybe just acknowledge that we are moving onto something different?

When will life get easier? Do you know how many times I’ve thought that very thought? Do you know how many times I’ve said it out loud?

I wasn’t always comfortable in my own skin. I was always searching for a feeling of contentment, like I’d know it when I experienced it.

I created stories about who I was, and I believed them wholeheartedly. I’m not smart enough. I don’t matter. I’d be so much happier if I lost some weight.

And then there were the expectations of what I thought my life should be like. I should be making more money. I should own a home. I should be in a relationship…

I am going to tackle a couple of topics: fear of judgment and the importance of feeling grounded during unsettling times.

I’ll start by sharing a personal story about my experience with judgment. I have wanted to add video content to my blog for a very long time and have been 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. The ironic part is that I was a producer for 20+ years, so I know how to do this. It didn't matter. Knowing I am an expert in this field just made me more nervous.

I finally got up the nerve to record my first video 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙣. I don't look very good. The audio and lighting could be better. The picture quality is not great. I don't like how I positioned myself in front of the camera. I don't like the background. Is the content compelling enough?

Here's the thing. 𝗪𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀. Am I right?