What if Nothing Needs Fixing?
Woman sitting cross-legged outside with sun on her face.
What made you decide you weren't enough?
Why do you think something is wrong with you?
We look to external sources for most things that need fixing -emotional needs, physical needs, material needs. Cars. Homes. Our devices.
In most cases, that's the wise route. Not all of us have the skill set to fix a car or build a home. We call someone. We hire someone. We buy something. That's not a flaw. That's just how we take care of things.
But somewhere along the way, we started applying that same logic to ourselves.
I've talked a lot about the old ways of doing business. Honestly, those ways never connected for me, not even when I was following them. Do these five things. Make sure you're seen. Build the brand. Optimize the funnel.
What that messaging really asks you to do is build a persona. A polished, marketable version of yourself, assembled from someone else's formula for what success is supposed to look like.
Again, a quick fix. Just maybe a quieter one.
The same pattern shows up in the healing realm when we think we need to fix ourselves. Therapy. Medication. Coaching. Retreats. Self-help books. Meditation apps.
I'm not ruling any of it out. I've tried all of it. I felt better for a while. I found real insight into who I am.
And it still wasn't enough.
I was still frustrated. I didn't experience joy very often. I spent a lot of time alone, and even when I was with friends, I felt disconnected, like I was watching my own life from somewhere outside it.
I lived in my head. And my head told me something was wrong with me.
Isn't that where it all starts? The moment you decide something is wrong with you?
Why can't I be normal? Why don't I fit in? Why is everything so hard? Why don't I connect with others? Why don't I have what I want? Money. A business. A house. A partner.
All interesting questions. All built on the same flawed premise: that something is wrong with you.
Who decided that?
Did someone point out what they thought was wrong with you once, and you just kept carrying it? Did someone mistreat you, and somewhere along the way, that became the evidence for how you’ve felt about yourself ever since?
Do you see where I'm going with this?
It's all made up.
What criteria did they use? And maybe the better question — what criteria are you still using, even now, without ever having agreed to them?
This is the work I am asking you to do. It’s not about fixing you. It’s not about adding another layer, another system, another five-step plan. It’s about recognizing the story you've been carrying and where it came from, who handed it to you, and acknowledging that you never actually agreed to it.
Because once you see it clearly, you get to choose. Keep it if it's still true. Or set it down, finally, and meet the person who was underneath it the whole time.
So here's what I'm curious about.
What's the story you're still carrying?
Maybe it's something someone said to you once, years ago, that you never put down. Maybe it's a feeling you've had for so long that you stopped noticing it was there. A feeling that you're too much, or not enough, or somehow behind everyone else.
You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't even have to know where it came from yet. Just start by going within and asking yourself about the stories you are