Be The Observer
I write a lot about our “stories.” The ones we’ve made up about ourselves based on experiences we’ve had. The painful ones. The ones that tell us we’re not enough, not worthy, not lovable, or that we don’t belong.
A lot comes up when you start recognizing your stories.
You develop an “I spy” awareness when they pop up. You start noticing them in real time, or maybe shortly afterward. And slowly, you begin to understand why.
You start processing the data.
Why did I react that way?
Why did that interaction bother me so much?
Why do I keep finding myself in this same situation?
What does this have to do with one of my old stories?
Sometimes it’s not so obvious. Sometimes it’s all too apparent. You almost laugh because you just know.
There is something freeing about recognizing your stories.
The intentional roamer: Becoming a compassionate observer
One theme that keeps showing up for me is how often we make assumptions about others — sometimes we’re right, but often, we’re not. We build stories about people, and those stories are a form of judgment.
I’ve noticed how easy it is to settle for difficult behavior rather than address it, perhaps because we’ve tried before and nothing changed. I’ve seen frustration and disappointment take root, and I’ve watched people choose silence because speaking up feels like too much effort — or feels pointless.
Again with the Assumptions!
But here’s the thing: true communication begins with awareness and compassion, both for ourselves and others.
If you find yourself struggling with someone’s behavior, start by looking inward.