Let’s Forgive Ourselves: A VidEo message
This one is a doozy! Maybe “doozy” isn’t quite accurate. It falls into the “your actions just proved your point” category. I recorded a video about self-forgiveness back in October and never felt like it was the right time to share it. I decided to revisit the video and was equal parts critical and ok with it.
Let’s start with what’s ok with it. It’s a relevant message. We are all self-critical and it’s time to evaluate whether our negative thoughts and stories are serving us. It’s authentic and vulnerable. I promised myself I would show who I am in my posts. It shares some hard truths that you will relate to in some way.
And then…I went to the critical. I don’t look my best. I’m repetitive. The lighting and positioning could be better. I wish I had filmed it horizontally. Maybe I should re-record it? Do I want this out in the world if it is not up to par? You wrote about this topic in a previous post. Essentially, I was proving the point of the video. We are our own worst critics, and the negative self-talk is real.
I pushed myself to evaluate it again from my heart instead of my head. Is the message relevant? Yes! Am I being my authentic self? Yes! Am I ok with sharing my vulnerability? Yes! Is it perfect? By whose standards? If I used my self-critical standards, I would never share anything.
You might be asking what you can do to get out of the negative zone.
Be Aware - There is negative self-talk, and then there are negative stories you believe about yourself. Note when you criticize yourself for the smallest misstep. You drop something on the floor, you don’t set your alarm, you forget to buy milk…and then you get mad at yourself…you get the picture. The stories you believe about yourself can stay with you for a long time - I am not worthy of… I am not…enough. Fill in the blanks. I am not worthy of love, abundance, or success. I am not smart, good, or talented, enough. Be aware when these thoughts or stories arise. It may surprise you how often they come up.
What’s really true? - Are you an idiot or whatever name you call yourself when you misstep? Are you really not worthy of love, abundance, and success? Are you really not smart enough, good enough, or talented enough? Do you really not deserve that raise, promotion, relationship, or to be happy and fulfilled? You have the data to evaluate these assumptions. Look back on your long successful career, your loving relationships, and your committed friendships.
Reframe the narrative - Every time you notice that you are stepping into a negative space, catch yourself and reframe that thought. What is the real truth? I am successful, I am loved, I’m not an idiot - I am worthy, I am smart, good, talented enough. I’m going to be ok
Take a listen to my short video about self-forgiveness to learn about my negative beliefs about myself. What do you want to forgive yourself for right now?